Therapists Don’t Give Advice—Here’s Why That’s a Good Thing

Yesterday, a client walked into my session and said, "Can you just tell me what I should do?" As if I could unpack 20 years of their life in 50 minutes and hand them a neatly wrapped solution. I get it—when we’re lost, we crave direction. But therapy doesn’t work like that. A therapist’s job isn’t to hand out advice like a fortune teller. It’s to help you uncover your own answers.

I hear it all the time: "What do you think I should do?" "If you were in my position, what would you do?" "Can you just give me an answer?" "I don’t know what to do—can you decide for me?" "Should I do this or not?" "What’s the right thing to do here?" "Tell me what the best option is." But here’s the truth—if I gave advice, it would be the worst investment you could make in therapy.

That’s why I was baffled when I saw an ad the other day that read: "If you like talking and giving advice, become a therapist!" No. Just no. If therapy was about giving advice, it wouldn’t work.

Why Therapists Don’t Give Advice

1. Advice is Based on Personal Experience, Not Yours

One of the key reasons therapists don’t give advice is because advice is inherently biased by the person's own experiences, values, and beliefs. When someone gives you advice, they’re reflecting their own worldview, which may not align with your unique circumstances.

For example, a therapist might not tell you to "just quit your job" because that advice comes from a place of their own personal understanding of what it means to make a life change. You might have different priorities, goals, and responsibilities that shape the decisions you make.

Why does this matter? Because advice is only effective if it resonates with your life experiences, not someone else’s. In therapy, the focus is on you and how you can tap into your inner wisdom to make choices that are right for you.

2. Giving Advice Creates Dependency

Imagine going to therapy for every decision you make, expecting your therapist to give you a solution each time. You might follow their advice, but the outcome wouldn’t be sustainable. Why? Because you would always be relying on an external source for answers instead of learning to trust your own instincts.

If therapists gave advice, clients would never learn how to navigate the complexities of their own lives. Instead, they’d come to depend on therapy to make decisions, perpetuating a cycle of dependency.

The goal of therapy is empowerment, not dependency. By learning to make decisions on your own, you develop confidence in your ability to handle challenges, big and small, without constantly needing an outside opinion.

3. You Have the Answers Within You

It’s easy to think that someone else must have the right answer to our problems. But in reality, therapy works by helping you discover that you already have the answers inside of you.

What does this mean? Therapy isn't about having a "fix-it" mentality; it’s about giving you the tools and space to connect with your own inner wisdom. When you learn to look inward, you’re able to understand your own values, beliefs, and motivations.

Take, for example, a client who feels stuck in a toxic work environment. Instead of telling them what to do, a therapist will guide them through exploring their feelings about their job, their values, and what changes they want to make. By doing so, the client can identify for themselves whether it’s time to make a change or find new coping strategies.

So in therapy, the focus is on helping you build inner strength so you don’t need to rely on external advice. Imagine being able to trust yourself and your own decisions, knowing that you can handle whatever life throws your way.

True therapy is about learning to navigate life with confidence. You don’t need a therapist for every decision in your life. Instead, you need the tools to reflect, understand, and process your feelings so that you can trust yourself to make the best choices.

I know that can sound scary at first - the idea that you have to be responsible for your lives decisions and that you have to do it all on your own. Your life your choices - yes. But we as therapists are always here to support and help you figure it all out.